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Sometime during the summer of 2001 I decided to keep a list of everything that made me happy to remind me of the multitude of joyous sensations there are to be found upon this earth according to me. Considering now the events of September 11th, 2001 & the aftermath that has caused & continues to cause the blood, gloom & lack of mercy dominating our human condition perhaps it is time that we all kept a list of the things in life that make us happy & that we are thankful for. So in the spirit of chasing some of the dark clouds away I present to you my very own personal reminder of why life doesn't always suck which is my list of everything that makes me happy... |
| 1 |
Kissing & good kissers, kissing is everything |
| 2 |
Being onstage feeling the waves of laughter wash over me & it's purifying qualities |
| 3 |
Writing funny new material |
| 4 |
Gentle forehead kisses |
| 5 |
Nipples like pencil erasers |
| 6 |
Bill Murray |
| 7 |
Orange juice |
| 8 |
Palm trees dancing in gentle breezes |
| 9 |
Ice cream trucks |
| 10 |
Being on television |
| 11 |
Touching people's lives for the better anyway you freely can |
| 12 |
Hot steamy showers on ice cold days |
| 13 |
Bacon & egg sandwiches, anywhere, anytime |
| 14 |
Skinny dipping |
| 15 |
Inside jokes among comedians |
| 16 |
Most dogs |
| 17 |
When my woman pops the zits on my back |
| 18 |
Blueberry frosted pop-tarts hot from the toaster |
| 19 |
Really good pens with easy flowing ink |
| 20 |
My endless art projects & endless ideas of creation |
| 21 |
Travelling to far away places & getting to know them |
| 22 |
Having friends in cities wherever I go |
| 23 |
Brand new fluffy cotton socks |
| 24 |
Spending New Year's Eve with my Dad |
| 25 |
That Muhammed Ali is a capricorn |
| 26 |
Being 35 & still splashing through puddles on rainy days |
| 27 |
Doing laundry & the fresh warm goodness at the end of completing the task |
| 28 |
The relationship between the Pyramids & the Stars |
| 29 |
Letting the crazy guy on the street know you are just as crazy as him only with your eyes |
| 30 |
Feeding birds in the park bread & appreciating how amazingly quick more of them gather |
| 31 |
Tree lined boulevards |
| 32 |
The playful laughter of care free children |
| 33 |
Freeloading off of my sister |
| 34 |
Irritating my brother & being the leftist commie of the family |
| 35 |
Skinny brown women with no tits |
| 36 |
The gravitational pull of temptation |
| 37 |
Streamlining down an uphill sidewalk with a big city stride |
| 38 |
Admiring the shapely ass of a stranger while riding public transportation |
| 39 |
Black coffe & the internet |
| 40 |
Seeing Catholic girls who have gone bad |
| 41 |
Strange sound effects made by funny children that you can't keep from laughing because of |
| 42 |
Steve McQueen |
| 43 |
Happening upon "Pappion" my favorite Steve McQueen movie just as it was beginning on a Saturday afternoon when I didn't have a single thing planned for the day |
| 44 |
Motorcycles with sidecars |
| 45 |
That people are still paying money to see Tom Rhodes |
| 46 |
Leaving a relationship confident that I'll be loved again |
| 47 |
The book of Psalms |
| 48 |
Badminton |
| 49 |
Sitting on my Mom's back porch waiting for the rain to come dance on the roof as I sit with my electric typewriter plugged in ready to capture it all |
| 50 |
Going barefoot for as long as I possibly can in summer |
| 51 |
Refreshing plunges in the pool on hot Florida days |
| 52 |
Cut off shorts & the smell of chlorine on a woman |
| 53 |
Ice cold milk with fresh baked cookies |
| 54 |
Getting my hair cut by a pregnant woman |
| 55 |
Banana moon pies |
| 56 |
Bubbalou's bodacious Bar-B-Q of Orlando, Florida |
| 57 |
Hanging out with my best friend Lou |
| 58 |
People who give without taking |
| 59 |
People who love their careers & no desire to be famous whatsoever |
| 60 |
People who have been burnt but who are not bitter & still see the joy in life |
| 61 |
How happy a simple balloon can make a little child |
| 62 |
Finally getting over your high school flame(s) |
| 63 |
Halibut fish tacos |
| 64 |
Isaac Babel |
| 65 |
Balsa wood aeroplanes |
| 66 |
Pirate flags |
| 67 |
Black panther fist salutes |
| 68 |
Hindu wedding parties |
| 69 |
Gay European techno music |
| 70 |
Henry Miller |
| 71 |
Oviedo, Florida |
| 72 |
Wilmington, North Carolina |
| 73 |
Washington D.C. |
| 74 |
82 channels of mindless American television |
| 75 |
Everything Mexican, Mexican people, Mexican heritage, Mexican food, Mexican music & the country of Mexico itself the next great world power |
| 76 |
My undying faith in the underdog & believing in the furthest reachable dreams |
| 77 |
The grief & agony in the melodic moans of the late great Hank Williams |
| 78 |
How hard I can rock the Sacramento mini-mall comedy club |
| 79 |
Rumors & legends I've heard about myself told to me by others that aren't even close to being true & the ones that are |
| 80 |
When someone comes into my life & we experience private moments of truthful communication that impacts me profoundly & I don't realize how special that moment & or the person was until long after the fact |
| 81 |
My Dad's love & pride for me & how he lifts me up when I am down |
| 82 |
My first pair of cufflinks (A gift from my Dad) |
| 83 |
Knowing that I am living my dream |
| 84 |
Being freshly shaved |
| 85 |
Anthropology |
| 86 |
That on my 35th birthday I didn't want anything because I felt like I already had everything I ever wanted |
| 87 |
The fact that I've bought 3 copies of Ryan Adams' Gold because the 1st 2 got scratched on my favorite song |
| 88 |
Seeing people dance at the Virgin megastore while they shop |
| 89 |
The beauty & grace that all women posess that is their power over men |
| 90 |
The money & effort humans spend in pursuit of washboard abs |
| 91 |
Getting the biggest tub of popcorn at the movies |
| 92 |
Driving with the windows down to a special mix tape I've made |
| 93 |
Listening to Tom Petty & being proud because he is the patron saint of all Florida white trash |
| 94 |
Revolving doors |
| 95 |
Ping Pong |
| 96 |
Birthday cake |
| 97 |
My Bob Dylan fan club sheriff's badge that my friend Jim Short gave to me |
| 98 |
My limited edition Stereophonics Zippo lighter |
| 99 |
Hotel mini-bars when I can afford them & the same goes for room service |
| 100 |
Asian food, especially Sushi |
| 101 |
Yo-Yos |
| 102 |
Laughing with strangers |
| 103 |
When existing relationships go even deeper |
| 104 |
The sound of birds singing in the trees |
| 105 |
Ice cold beverages, especially beer & coca-cola |
| 106 |
B.E.T. (Black Entertainment television) |
| 107 |
Seeing live concerts in San Francisco |
| 108 |
When a live night club band or DJ can bring out the animalistic self expressive hip pumps of being free |
| 109 |
Dancing until I am covered in sweat in a mass of people |
| 110 |
Watching the Leonid meteor shower from Blue Canyon, California |
| 111 |
The joyous spirit & happy songs to be found at Abundant Life Ministries church in Oakland, California & how easily that fuel can fill your tank to carry you down the road |
| 112 |
Going down Fulton street in San Francisco on a shopping cart & riding it the length between Scott & Steiner streets along Alamo square park late at night |
| 113 |
A slice of pepperoni from Golden Boy pizza in North Beach, San Francisco as you read subversive literature & wash it down with a coke |
| 114 |
Being beside the water & thoughtlessly watching boats cruise along atop the ripples |
| 115 |
Seeing a beautiful woman in the airport who ends up sitting next to you on the plane (Even if you barely speak). |
| 116 |
The thrill I still get from take off & the experience of breaking through the clouds on a wet, grey, overcast day & discovering the pure sunshine above & the blanket of clouds beneath your ascending plane that was the roof hanging over the bad day you have left behind |
| 117 |
Duty free shopping |
| 118 |
The Roxy theatre in the mission district of San Francisco |
| 119 |
Good time oldies stations of American radio |
| 120 |
The Empress of China restuarant in Chinatown, San Francisco 838 Grant Ave. |
| 121 |
The well dressed business woman in a business suit with a skirt on Sutter street who consciously made the decision after looking at me that she would flash me a free cookie shot as she stepped out of her Jaguar without panties on as I strode past & the smile she gave me after I realized what had just happened when I looked back at her as she paused on the sidewalk then quickly heading into a theatre where a show was about to begin without me ever loosing step or slowing down towards my destination |
| 122 |
The smell of Chinese rose soap on freshly washed skin |
| 123 |
The abundance of American supermarkets & the over the top experimental ones in Los Angeles where you can watch TV as you stand in line & get up to the minute baseball scores as well as seasonal vegetable tips of what is in season, it's price & helpful ways suggesting how you could serve them |
| 124 |
Seeing war flicks with my Dad & watching shit blow up on the big screen |
| 125 |
Broccoli, Black eyed peas, collard greens & asparagus |
| 126 |
Deviled eggs |
| 127 |
Iranian caviar |
| 128 |
The Lavendar mist spray I bought in Big Sur, California |
| 129 |
Paying it forward to Jah people |
| 130 |
Feeling someone's heart beat against your chest when you hug them |
| 131 |
The vulnerability of Elizabeth Taylor |
| 132 |
Being as tanned as Paul Newman was in the movie "Hombre" |
| 133 |
The 5 mile stretch of road between Sunset & Ventura Boulevards on Laurel Canyon in Los Angeles |
| 134 |
Unexpectedly hearing a song that I love but had forgotten about on the radio |
| 135 |
Polishing off 5 Pacifico's by myself in the wee hours of night |
| 136 |
Knowing that there is no wrong way to do anything |
| 137 |
Anti-white people/anti-power structure literature & other forms of expression about the same |
| 138 |
Unexpectedly witnessing compassion & personal acts of kindness |
| 139 |
How one life can touch so many others |
| 140 |
Knowing people who are going after their dreams no matter how ridiculous they may seem |
| 141 |
Inspired street performers |
| 142 |
Snorkeling along the Napoli coast, Kauai, Hawaii |
| 143 |
Being among the creations of Salvador Dali |
| 144 |
How my friends from Kenya who live in Houston honored me in the traditional Kenyan way by inviting me in their home for their special & tantalizingly delicious goat stew & invited all of their friends over to meet me & how we all took these good feelings to my show that night & hung out afterwards drinking, talking & sharing everything that makes us laugh or put more simply, my friend Jabone & his wife Lisa from Kenya make me happy & feel truly appreciated |
| 145 |
Playing Uno & Scrabble until all hours of the night with my dear brother Rich Hall in London & laughing wildly because he & his woman were cheating at these innocent games |
| 146 |
London after a light rain walking home over the slick & sexy cobblestones after I ripped the balls off of the Comedy Store thinking about how the audience cheered & called me back out onstage giving me my first ever no bullshit encore & how I blushed when I reimerged onstage & even better was the feeling later walking home by myself feeling the rare moment of actually being happy with myself. |
| 147 |
The view from the window of my favorite Chinese joint in London, 1979 |
| 148 |
The loud laughter of drunken English people |
| 149 |
Looking out on Hong Kong harbor & or taking the star ferry across it |
| 150 |
Having the money to have some tailor made clothes done for myself while in Hong Kong & how wearing them makes me bring out the pimp shit |
| 151 |
Seeing Fat Boy Slim while in China & the odd fright I got among the cool youth of that nation as everyone tried to have a good time & forget the communist soldiers around the perimeters with machine guns in their hands |
| 152 |
Beijing, China & the good humor I found there among the people even from the poorest people among them |
| 153 |
The cheap ass Chairman Moa watch I bought in Beijing & how you have to thump him on the head to get it to work |
| 154 |
The amount of ass I kicked onstage in Hong Kong on the last night of my China tour |
| 155 |
The private villa I had to myself in Bali, Indonesia with my own private pool craddle within my own temple garden with a stereo system & a sky full of kites playing above in the gentle tropical breezes |
| 156 |
Still believing in my dreams & realizing when one from long ago comes true |
| 157 |
Living in Amsterdam |
| 158 |
Taking the Thalys train from Amsterdam to Paris & enjoying a cup of tea on the journey like a gentleman |
| 159 |
All of the sensations that come alive in me when I visit Paris & the tingles & titilations I get no matter how long or brief my stay there is |
| 160 |
Performing at The Hotel du Nord in Paris & time spent with one of the coolest humans I have ever known, my friend & empressario Karel Beer |
| 161 |
Being drunk & holding on tight on the back of Karel's scooter as we motor through the Bastille area of Paris late at night |
| 162 |
Being presented cheese from Corsica, The Pyrannes & Normandy all on one plate by the mother of my first big love story ex-girlfriend & how much love her Mom still pours on me when I stay with her & still treats me like the prodigal son after all these years |
| 163 |
How I never seem to experience the shitty stereotyped situations you here about from people who visited Paris & didn't like the place & how my friends there always help me discover something new each time I am there |
| 164 |
The Decadence of the Romans (& The painting of this name that hangs in the D'Orsey museum in Paris |
| 165 |
Walking west down Boulevard Voltaire with my best Pashmina scarf around my neck (made from the hair of goats chins) with the click, click, click of my closed umbrella hitting the sidewalk fulfilling my boyhood dreams of being an international big shot man of style rightfully sauntering like the peacock I once imagined I wanted to be |
| 166 |
Walking with an open umbrella, whether it is to block out the strong sun or to trot about a city underneath in the rain |
| 167 |
How on the train back to Amsterdam from Paris the announcements go from French to Dutch after it has reached Antwerp & the same snack car guy who was gentle & helpful with my feeble French is just as helpful with my feeble Dutch |
| 168 |
That I am trying to learn Dutch & how long & incredibly difficult some of their words are to pronounce |
| 169 |
Renting those little tourist boats you operate yourself & motoring aroung the canals of Amsterdam with the right person in the majestic golden sunlight of summer that is to be found there |
| 170 |
Whenever I see a windmill I am happy |
| 171 |
Bitterballen |
| 172 |
Old Dutch cheese on sunflower bread with a cold Heineken |
| 173 |
Lounging in the grass of Vondel park in Amsterdam drinking wine with friends on a sunny day |
| 174 |
Standing upright & peeing in the canals of Amsterdam like a true Dutchman the way it was taught to me by my Dutch friends |
| 175 |
Riding a bicycle home through the stillness of night & being calmed by the silence of such a great city as most of her citizens are asleep |
| 176 |
My friend Saunder's bad ass punk band The Skidmarks & how they play for the fun & love of it & appear to have no trace of greedy intentions or a desire to conquer the world when they are busting out all kinds of woopass crunch from the stage |
| 177 |
My friend Marcel Scheffer & his wonderfully innocent daughters with his loving wife that make up their loving home & how he has never failed to produce a new poem or song to share with me anytime I have ever seen him & how he is always concerned with me expressing my most tender self & by his example inspires me to |
| 178 |
My friend Gerke Nauta who knows where to find comedy gold & has the sweetest true ringing laugh when you have genuinely rung his bell of sensibilities, at 6'5" he is the most gentle, fun loving leader without a trace of arrogance & somehow he has effortlessly hypnotised me into believing he is not my boss but my best friend & aside from his example of how to be a gentle thoughtful man I am at my happiest when we are creating comedy together |
| 179 |
That I once loved a bright young beautiful girl from a little town in the North of Holland & that it became a magnificent adventure & one of the greatest & truest love stories of my life & I am continually amazed at the fruit that is produced from all that we once were & had together. She taught me to have fun again & to see my own greatness & how to set free all the goodness I have inside & forget about everything other than enjoying the now & the sweet true laughs that only living in the present can bring which can only be taught by wonderfully unique & special souls from small nowhere towns who believe in the simple truest things that give life meaning |
| 180 |
Being given my own late night talk show on Dutch television |
The previous 180 happy thoughts were posted June 2002 and I must say I never knew it would cause such a wide reaching reaction. Sweet messages from people who were inspired to start their own Happiness list, relatives and friends upset because they didn't make the list, interviewers wanting to know why certain things were in certain order. This is just my goofy ass list of things that make me happy, I've spent so much of my life chasing after it I think I'm entitled to let it out as it flows. This year I heard my childhood friend Nate Stout killed himself & just a few days ago my dearest darling friend Charlie Shannon dropped dead. More and more people are dropping dead, from self- inflicted metal blasts and otherwise. Take care of yourselves kids, try to remember all the reasons you have to be happy and spill a little champagne along the way, for your dead hommies. It is now January 2004 and the list continues...
|
| 181 |
Yorin Travel. Two of my favorite things in life is being on television & traveling and me getting to be a presenter on this show for the Yorin network of the Netherlands is the greatest job anyone could ever ask for. God bless the Dutch explorers. |
| 182 |
Being on vacation |
| 183 |
Being beside water |
| 184 |
The smell of Hawaiian Tropic sun tanning oil and how Ron Rice should consider coming out with a fragrance of the same |
| 185 |
The beach, any beach even if it's polluted |
| 186 |
Going barefoot for as long as I can in summe |
| 187 |
The smell of freshly cut grass |
| 188 |
Go carts |
| 189 |
Water slides |
| 190 |
Ice cream trucks |
| 191 |
Drive in movies theatres (When you can find them) |
| 192 |
Devil women from Mars |
| 193 |
5 dollar bottomless Memosas |
| 194 |
The words moist and tasty |
| 195 |
The best date I ever had with Ann Petrak on Cocoa Beach to watch a Nasa night launch with wine and blanket and how magnificently the dark night at 3am was total daylight illuminating down on the good time we were having. |
| 196 |
Key West, Florida which I found the best way to see was with Ann Petrak. Buffalo shrimp, pirate history, ghost tour, Earnest Hemmingway and Ann Petrak with the smell of Hawaiian coconut oil on a beach with palm trees as the rest of the nation freezes in winter. Yes, this is the frozen moment I want to be living over and over. |
| 197 |
What Faye Woodruff taught the Parrot to say at the Key West comedy condo years ago |
| 198 |
The innocence of Columbus, Ohio |
| 199 |
Polaroids. Because Polaroids don't lie |
| 200 |
Turning over pennies on the street so that other people will believe they have found good luck |
| 201 |
Raisin toast with butter |
| 202 |
Getting KFC in a bucket and flinging the chicken bones out of a rented convertable like a hillbilly |
| 203 |
Being surprised KFC in Thailand doesn't sell chicken in the buckets like ours do in America but flinging the chicken bones like a hillbilly anyway |
| 204 |
Jack Kerouac. Especially the recording of him reading the last paragraphs of 'On the road'. "And don't you know that God is Pooh bear? |
| 205 |
The Greek island of Rhodes and going there for no other reason than it bares my name and I always wanted to go there. |
| 206 |
The old man who cleans the fountain of Helliocropils square everyday out of the goodness of his own heart. |
| 207 |
My first dip in the Aegean sea |
| 208 |
My million dollar secret idea to eviserate moustaches of Greek women |
| 209 |
The old fisherman I met and hung out with every night I was on the island of Rhodes and how he would get upset everytime I would call him a fisherman. "I am not a fisherman," he would exclaim "I just come to the sea to relax and God gives me the fish." Meanwhile he would have five fishing lines in the sea at all times while he studied each one like a master. One night after he caught nothing, after he packed up as he was leaving he said "Sometimes the sea says no." I have never liked octopus and this old fisherman gave me octopus better than the best steak I've ever eaten. God bless him, good fucker. |
| 210 |
Swimming naked the length of Rhodes harbor entrance and back drunk at 3am because I thought it would give me super powers being that that was where the Colosus of Rhodes once stood. I don't know if I gained any super powers but at least it wasn't a Jeff Buckley in the Mississippi moment for me. *Being naked is one of the keys to happiness. Spending as much time as you can naked is a great cause of happiness. |
| 211 |
knowing that the island of Rhodes is known for exotic butterflies. |
| 212 |
Knowing that Berlin is the Kansas City of Europe. |
| 213 |
Unconvincing Transvestites |
| 214 |
Tabloid photography |
| 215 |
Third world cops |
| 216 |
The patheticness of Jimmy Corrigan |
| 217 |
Page 333 of James Joyce's 'Ulysses'; "Love loves to love love." |
| 218 |
The imaginary conversations I sometimes have with Oprah Winfrey. |
| 219 |
The perpetual glorification of youth. |
| 220 |
The intentional imperfections of Native American art |
| 221 |
Bell bottom hip hugger pants |
| 222 |
The right to offend |
| 223 |
The art of being spontaneous |
| 224 |
The life and legend of Evil Kneivel |
| 225 |
The red shanked Langur found only in Vietnam and Laos |
| 226 |
Mendocino county line |
| 227 |
Outlaw cowboy singers |
| 228 |
The gift of Jamaiiacan independence |
| 229 |
Curry goat and rice |
| 230 |
The multi-ethnic polyrhythmic surroundings of the Citron club on Connecticut Ave. in Washington D.C. Spanish, Latin and Arabic girls dancing, swinging and grinding with all of their being in reckless abandon. Hooray! Hooray! |
| 231 |
Being anywhere were people are being free |
| 232 |
House music all night long |
| 233 |
The silent mating call of a young republic |
| 234 |
Listerine breathe sheets |
| 235 |
Extreme sport Jesus |
| 236 |
Spiritual seekers welcoming diversity |
| 237 |
Bible thumping urban shakedowns |
| 238 |
Punk rock girls |
| 239 |
Crooked smiles |
| 240 |
My collection of books |
| 241 |
My collection of airline vomit bags |
| 242 |
Not fucking strippers |
| 243 |
The Golden Gate bridge and the path that highway 101 cuts through the dry brown hills of Northern California. |
| 244 |
The dreamy Asian girls of Clement street in San Francisco and the solitude I find at Green Apple books imagining the possiblities as I explore the titles of books. |
| 245 |
Molly's butterflies |
| 246 |
Mountains. Mountains make you humble, just like getting a flat tire. |
| 247 |
Fix a flat |
| 248 |
Flying business class on Lufthansa airlines from San Francisco to Frankfurt, Germany and reading in the in flight magazine the story of an Asian man who has given up all his posessions in search of knowledge and the meaning of life. |
| 249 |
Herman Hesse's 'Siddhartha' |
| 250 |
Virgin airlines and Virgin record stores |
| 251 |
Richard Branson's spirit of fun |
| 252 |
Tower records on Sunset Boulevard |
| 253 |
Driving as fast as I can on the elevated highways of Los Angeles late at night passing all the monkies because my car was built to cruise |
| 254 |
The rock star apartment I had for 2 years on top of the Hollywood hills |
| 255 |
The rock star apartment I had for 1 year in the center of Amsterdam |
| 256 |
The fact that I could not pronounce the name of the street I lived on in Amsterdam. Lange Leidse Dwarsstraat. |
| 257 |
Getting 3 kisses when you greet a Dutch woman |
| 258 |
My old Dutch Gazelle girl's bike |
| 259 |
Riding my bike through the tunnel of the Rijks museum in Amsterdam |
| 260 |
The salsa festival I happened upon in Vondel park in Amsterdam this past summer. |
| 261 |
The mushroom revolation I had about family, children and bubbles this past summer. |
| 262 |
Savory Dutch pancakes |
| 263 |
The word savory |
| 264 |
The mystic vibrations of Java |
| 265 |
The vast gloriousness of Australia |
| 266 |
The 'Brown Bag' stationary store on Fillmore and Pine in San Francisco |
| 267 |
Listening to Billy Crystal talk about Mickey Mantle |
| 268 |
Mickey Mantle |
| 269 |
Ted Williams |
| 270 |
Willie Mays |
| 271 |
The homeruns I have seen Barry Bonds smack in the water at Pac Bell park |
| 272 |
The batting stance of Julio Franco of the Atlanta Braves |
| 273 |
Tiger Woods' eyes |
| 274 |
The fact that Kim Oliva has seen me perform on 3 different continents and that she is one of my oldest and dearest friends |
| 275 |
That wet paper money is still openly accepted in Florida |
| 276 |
Jackie Gleason proclaiming "How sweet it is!" |
